Articles 
| Should I Divorce My Jehovah's Witness Mate? |
| Written by Randall Watters |
| Thursday, 12 March 2009 14:08 |
One of the more difficult issues facing a divided household where one of the marriage partners is a Jehovah's Witness is the subject of divorce. Child custody issues often follow. Even the Watchtower Society acknowledges the increase in court appearances on family issues involving a non-Witness mate. The Awake! of 9/22/92, p. 11 says,
One court to which some of Jehovah's Witnesses have increasingly been delivered is the family court. In Austria, Belgium, Canada, France, Norway, the United States and other countries, a small group of opposers have tried to make religion the key issue in determining child custody issues when faithful Witnesses of Jehovah are divorced by unbelieving mates. Just because they were Jehovah's Witnesses, Witness parents have lost custody of their children. The truth of the matter is that religion really IS the key issue in most of these divorce and custody cases. Why so? The reasons a non-Witness mate of a JW seeks divorce are: (1) The children are being forced to go to the Kingdom Hall and/or out in the door-to-door work, While there are other reasons, these appear to be the most common. It is easy for us to practice armchair counseling when it comes to these matters, giving pat answers to those who have been suffering over this issue for perhaps years already. It would be better to empathize with the person, feeling their struggle, before attempting to give advice in the matter. Let's look at these reasons listed above one by one. (1) Typically, the husband is the JW and insists on the kids going to the Hall, while the wife is home or goes to church. Sometimes the wife gets equal time in taking the kids to church, though this arrangement usually doesn't last long. Since the weekly messages given at the Kingdom Hall are quite antagonistic towards churches, the kids get confused and resist going to any religious services or side with the "rebel" cause (the Watchtower) against the established churches. Siding with dad may have more advantages than siding with mom, as well. Mom begins to wonder if divorce and obtaining custody of the children is the lesser of two evils, at least to prevent the children from losing out on life, if not for her own sanity. Should you divorce your JW mate? Only you can make such a difficult decision. If the situation is tolerable to you, and you love your mate, the words of Paul may apply, "For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?" 1 Cor. 7:16. Hits: 3652 Trackback(0)
Comments (27)
  written by Lyn , May 10, 2009 I am dealing with a spouse who is studying to be a JW and I am NOT. Nor will I EVER be. I have views of divorce proceedings in my head because he will not let me live in peace. Almost every day turns into some type of bible study. Constant reminders of "the end" are given. Just yesterday he informed me that I can no longer say "God Bless You" when he sneezes. I wanted to knock the aire of superiority out of his head when he told me that. Ohh by the way, I forgot to mention he is a raving alcoholic and tobacco user. That's what is keeping him from becoming baptized. Luckily, we do not have children and I have decided when he started this that I will NEVER have his children as long as he is in this belief system. (Well and as long as he's drinking the way he is.) But I don't have to worry about that anyway, since his studies began we practically shake hands and I don't have to worry about that. He's either working, studying or drinking. What a life. And I'm beginning to think my life would be better without him. report abuse
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 written by Ken , June 04, 2009 Lyn, I don't envy your situation. It is a tough one and only you can make the decision whether to stay or go. You probaly know that your relationship with your husband will never get any better as long as he stays involved with the JW. I hope your salvation is in Jesus Christ and you pray to God and trust in him. With prayer God will guide you. My brother is JW and there is no turning him. We respectfully disagree. I have to distance myself at times, because of the insanity in heir cult beliefs. Everything that spews from their mouth is from a Watchtower magazine and is repetitive, I have heard it all 1000 times over and over and over. The Awake and the Watchtower have to misquote people out side their organization and lie about their lies and when they are called out on it, they claim it is ok because it is under the authority of their Bethel ( head quarters ) and they believe it to be a prophet. I studied and debated scripture with him for 7 years and I won the battle, but lost the war. I am a very positive person and reviewing their materials saddened me,So I decided to quit focusing on debating his belifs and converting him to serving God and doing his joyful work. I am happier and my brother Rick is still in his cult and he is happy. Please find a way to serve God joyfully, pray for your husband and most of all Enjoy your life! report abuse
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 written by Pam , June 25, 2009 Hi Lyn, I have experienced the exact same thing as you. My husband starting studying over 9 months ago and I ended up kicking him out as he was doing all of it behind my back. I couldn't stand him and his Jehovah ways anymore. He was drinking so bad and I was tired of being verbally abused by him. He still calls me and screams at me for kicking him out and swears up a storm while doing it. He has had 12 jobs in the last 4 years and blames everyone but himself for quitting everyone of them. He was also quitting these jobs without telling me. I thought being a Witness would have changed all of his bad behavior but no its only made matters worse. I am much happier on my own and the vision of divorce is also dancing in my head and will soon come true. Please think of yourself and your life. Get out while you can and start a whole new life where you will be much happier. Pray to God and he will guide in the right direction. His love and strength will see you through this difficult time. Pray for your husband too as I do that the Holy Spirit will find his way into his heart. report abuse
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written by Pam , June 25, 2009 Lyn, If you would like to talk sometime let me know. I have been searching for someone in my situation to talk to. Pam report abuse
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 written by Kerry , June 29, 2009 I've been married to my JW husband for nearly 14 years. You see, we married when I was pregnant. At that time, I did not understand anything about JW and the faith. Throughout these years its been alot of struggle on my part and alot of compromising. I have been able to do birthdays and holidays for my two kids now but still I am constantly thinking am I in this marriage only for my children. I don't even know if I am in love with him. I know he's tired of trying as I don't go the meetings at all. At one point, I was attending the meetings but to that extent only. I will not convert to being a witness. So I am asking, what is there left if I know in my heart that I will not share the same faith as my husband??? I'm so confused. I know my kids will be loved no matter what but I've been married for so long that I am scared of the outcome of the affects for my children and for me. Will I be able to make it on my own? I know he will curse me which he has before that the next person I am with will probably beat me up and/or leave me, etc. report abuse
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 written by Ramon , September 08, 2009 I found this website hours before I am going to visit a divorce attorney. I have been married to my wife for 11 years and have a 2 year old son. I have also raised 2 stepdaughters from my wife's preious marriage for the last 15 years. My wife lead Purpose Driven Christian bible studies, attended, church, was always getting on me to get involved with the church. 4 years ago I committed myself to the Lord and got involved in the church. Well a year and a half ago out of the blue my wife tells me she has been studying with JW and will no longer attend church with me and my son. She also turned our bedroom into a JW shrine with books, magazines, dvds, and bibles. I have slept in my sons bedroom over a year and told my wife I would wait it out. Have asked her to go to counsueling and she said she doesn't want anyone trying to convince her beliefs are wrong. She has been taking my 2 year old door to door and to Kindom Hall for 8 months now. On 2 occasions I have told her no, you are not taking the 2 year old there. She called me controlling and called the police. The police came to my house, listen to both sides, then told me I need to get a divorce. They said these things always end bad and my wife is "gone". BTW my step daughters (1  cool report abuse
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 written by Michael , September 26, 2009 My life as I knew it ended 2 and a half years ago when my wife joined JW. I have lost everything that I worked for for 30 years. It is so so sad that I never realized what damage could be caused by rligion. I love her but must continue on. Please email me @ \n This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it '> This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it report abuse
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written by Pam , September 27, 2009 Michael, I sent you an e-mail. I am so sorry for what has happened to you, as the same thing has happened to me. It is all so very sad that a religion like the JW's can destroy a marriage. I hope I will get the opportunity to discuss our situations. I have waited for a long time to find someone to be able to communicate with that has been through the same thing that I have. Pam report abuse
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 written by LEILA , October 06, 2009 i would like to talk to someone who might have a similar situation as I. i am married to a jw for 6 yrs now. i am a non practicing catholic. we met when he was disfellowship and we dated and fell in love. i have always respected his belief and made a promise to him to help him get reinstated in which he is now. i went to his meetings and i also had a bible study with a Jehovahs witness to undestand their beliefs and to understand my husband. since my husband was reinstated he seems very over righteous and i feel he is pushing his religion to me but i dont like it Ive been going to his sunday meetings mainly but my heart is not in it but i do it because i love my husband, i get depress hearing that the "end" is almost here ALL THE TIME!. im tired of listening to it from all of them telling me to get baptized as a jw so i can live in paradise earth and that i can have everlasting life. everytime i tell my husband how i feel he gets mad he doesnt seem to undersatand me. i am beginning to think marrying him is a mistake. respecting each others beliefs isnt there anymore especially mine, BUT I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM EXCEPT BE A JW. my heart is not in it and itold my husband that if i wanted to become a JW i will do it myself from the heart and not for anyone except for me. and my heart is not in it. there is so much to say if anyone reads this and has some advice id like to hearit. I am so confused. HELP. report abuse
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 written by Bryan Moon , October 15, 2009 I was with the same girl for 15 years.I knew her mom and siblings were witnesses.She had been raised a witness but as an adult decided it wasn't for her.Her family always treated me like a son until I developed a bad drinking problem.They swooped in and converted her and had her baptized as a witness.I have now quit drinking and I miss her horribly.I'm still so in love with her but she won't even speak to me.I write to her and send her cards but she never responds.I'm so heart broken.What can I do. report abuse
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 written by EEP , October 31, 2009 To everyone who has posted, I am sorry for the hell that you have encountered through the JW beliefs. I find myself entangled in it as well, recently discovering that i am pregnant by a JW, (I am NOT nor will I EVER be) and we are not married. He is currently disfellowshipped (for premarital sex), and once I told him that I was pregnant, he immediately reverted back to strict Jehovah adherance telling me that this child WILL be a Witness and there is nothing I can do about it. He has threatened to take me to court and fight me there. I already have a 5 year old son, and I made it very clear that I WILL not raise my children seperately in beliefs. I am not sure what to do, and I am scared. I feel overwhelmed, and he is no longer the wonderful man he played himself off to be. T He downplayed his cult like belief systems, never uttering a word about them to me, if i ever brought it up, he would shrug it off like it was not even a big deal. Now that i am pregnant, the realness of his beliefs is unraveling. Does anyone out there have any idea as to what I should do, or know of anyone that has been in this position. I dont even know where to start. report abuse
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 written by Jane , December 02, 2009 I married a JW this past Oct. and feel I may have made a big mistake! Dear God HELP me! He was wonderful until he moved in with me after the wedding and then the Headship came out full force, I am pulling my hair out, I need someone to talk to. report abuse
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 written by Beth , December 05, 2009 I know someone in England who has tried to be happy in a marriage with a JW for over 20 years. After living through all of the heartache and rejection ( that this article does a good job of addressing) they want a divorce.(They helped raise and support their JW spouse's children who are now grown, but have not even been able to have their own friends to the house because the JW spouse says they are "spiritual enemies"!!) Now that they want to be free of it all, they have been advised by an attorney that with British law they have no legal rights or grounds to file, except if they were to commit adultery or abuse drugs, and will have to wait for 5 years of separation before they could divorce and get on with their life!! Does anyone know ANYthing to the contrary? Is there no other legal help in England for the tortured to have some relief? Is there no other recourse? Any help would be appreciated. report abuse
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 written by WILLE TUBBS , December 16, 2009 I am too married to a jw for 6yrs. We have two beautiful daughters. Our marrige has been a struggle. We are on the road to divorce. But yesterday was different. She realize that life is meaningless without me. So she is willing to do anything to make this marriage to work. So I told her in order to make this work it has to be that we both give and recieve. She agreed. By the way for the last 2yrs I have been studing the differents between jw and christians. I read many books, magazines, and articles. Until I found a book called "Rediscovering the Kingdom" by Dr. Myles Munroe. This book change my whole life. After reading the book I realize if she can't understand this then our marriage is over. Well to get back to the conversation. After she agreed I told her to buy the book and read it. And give me her views on it after each chapter. She agreed to do it. For the people that is reading this. I highly recommend that u do the same. Buy the book first and read it for yourself then envolve your spouse. I pray that it will work for YOU and ME. And remember that you are too BLESSED to be STRESSED and you also are too ANOINTED to be DISAPPOINTED. report abuse
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 written by Tiffany , December 22, 2009 I have been married to my husband for 2 years and we have a 2 year old child. My husband was raised a witness and I was not, although I am Christian. He tries to inflict me and our child into not celebrating Halloween and Chritmas. But he has no problem celebrating any other holiday ib the calendar year. He keeps telling me that he loves me and that if I choose to Celebrate these holidays with our child that he will divorce me and take our child from me. I love him and our marriage would be great if it wasn't for these strange ideas. I think that I need to leave just not to sure if i have grounds for a divorce or if he can just take our child. report abuse
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 written by Scott , January 13, 2010 I met my wife when she was disfellowshipped, fell in love and married after a couple of years. At that time, she was very understanding and down-to-earth. It was when my step-daughter started getting out of control partying and such as a teenager that my wife decided to try to get reinstated, and get her daughter going to meetings. Another factor I think was when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans she would do nothing but sit and watch the coverage on CNN all day long (we live in NY). Perhaps she thought the Apocalypse was really here. Nine months later, after the sadistic "shunning", she was reinstated. I tried to follow the advice given on a lot of these websites, but it was to no avail. You can never underestimate the power of guilt that is implanted in these poor individual's minds!!! Now, after five years of marriage, I'm done. We are legal separated right now. The breaking point came when she started doing bible studies with illegal mexican immigrants that work on the farms nearby. Then she was picking up things for them at Walmart, next was driving them to the Hall on Sundays, and then finally driving them to Walmart to pick up supplies. Any attention given to me, or to the household, came to almost nil. I pointed out to her that this is illegal, transporting illegal aliens, and her response was that she was following God's law, which is a higher law. So, after seeing I was supporting not only her, but my 19 year old stepdaughter (who doesn't work, no interest in college of course, only wants to work at Bethel if she's accepted) as well, and basically funding their activities with no respect or love given back to me... it was time to pull the plug. I am still willing to give our marriage a chance, because I do take marriage seriously, and made vows that I don't think should be taken lightly. But, as most of the other bloggers on here know, I doubt highly anything will change on her side, so I'm sure divorce is in our future. Thanks for listening. I can not possibly put down in a few words what day-to-day life has been like, but I do recognize some of the things from the above posts.. especially your bedroom becoming a JW shrine. Every night I would have to clear the bed of Watchtowers, Awakes, and of course the NWT. Ugh, thank God that is done with. Good luck to all of you. report abuse
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written by Jane , January 21, 2010 I have let some time go by, just to see if things would get better... Instead they have gotten worse! My husbands beliefs are driving me insane, and his parents cannot hold any conversation with me that does not revolve around the end of this system of things, and I should have my children study so that they are not dead forever. I have been more depressed now than I have ever been. Why can't I just have a happy life and do normal happy things? Well they have an answer for that as well! Because it is the worldy things that satan is tempting me with and Jehovah would see that as being unrightous! They also told me that I have let demons into my home because my children had a christmas tree in their room. My children are from a previous marriage and should not have to suffer because I married him, but his family is pushing studies and I have all but stopped going to their home with my children. I was so depressed in the past month that I packed my suitcase and drove 300 miles to be with my family, which is also a problem to my husband and his family, because they are not Witnesses and are bad influences on me. Does it ever end? Now I am to limit contact with my blood family and the friends I grew up with! This is craziness! I am a believer in God, but should I fear him? Should I fear living a life that is happy for me and my children? HELP!!!!! report abuse
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 written by Ralph , January 21, 2010 All of the stories I have read here break my heart, but there is some comfort in the fact that I'm not alone. I found a someone that taught me about cult behavior, and that helps me understand what is going on with my wife. check out Steven Hassan's books and the website freedomofmind.com. None of it fixes my problems directly, but it helps me understand what I'm dealing with and why my wife, with her history of abuse and neglect as a child, still wanted to go back to the JW's. report abuse
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 written by MFD , January 29, 2010 Well I can certainly relate to most of the stories mentioned. I knew when I met my future wife back in '97 that her family was into the whole jw thing. She was even going at the time, but not faithfully as she had a full time job, along with a full-time college schedule, not to mention being head-of-household, watching over her mother and 2 younger sisters. Over time, she celebrated with me. We've done the Christmas and Thanksgiving thing. This lead me to believe that I wouldn't have to consider her religion as we progressed with our relationship. All of a sudden, while she was pregnant with our son, she started going to studies, while I was at work,with some jw's that had come to my house while going door to door. According to her, I knew that she was a jw and that she wouldn't give it up. BUT YOU DID, you did for the past 9 years. All of a sudden, because your damn mother comes back into the picture and your pregnant, you feel as though you need to reinstate yourself and give in as though you've been living a lie for all these years? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we had just married a few months prior to her starting up her whole jw thing. I gave in, thinking how hard could it be to be involved with someone who has different believes. A few years have gone by without us celebrating anything together. This includes my sons birthdays. It wasnt until my sons 4th birthday, where we were sitting at the table and I was singing "happy birthday" to him, ALONE, with my wife sitting the next chair over. It was then, that it hit me. "Wait, I shouldn't be doing this alone." Why did I take this away from him all this time? This is just not fair to him. It hit me even harder that following christmas, where I was up with my son early in the morning while he was all smiles, from cheek to cheek. I was handing him presents left and right. Where was his mother during this precious time? IN BED... I gave her the ultimatum. YUP, I sure did. either be part of the family or I am out. Was this fair? no, I dont think so, but I had the thought in my mind that she would give in, that she might want to hold onto our family. But NO, after a brief vacation, which was primarily meant to give our marriage some air, some pressure relief if you will. We came back home, and just a few short weeks later, I had to leave. I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't bare to spend the rest of my life with this woman who is so close minded and consumed by this cult. I have done alot of research, just to find out that not many marriages work out when 1 partner is involved in the jw. We are currently in the process of divorce, which I don't want, but she has come to the conclusion that it is best. On the other side of this, when I left my home, she started going out with various men, went on a vacation to LV to meet up with a high school sweetheart, I think we can all imagaine what happened there. and she calls herself a jw? she is such a hypocrite. I have my kids as my #1 priority and I just cant stand the fact that we are in the situation we are in, but am I wrong for leaving? I am only 31 and i am having mixed feelings about all this. RIREBEL17@YAHOO>COM report abuse
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 written by oddysseus , January 31, 2010 I don't like to read any of this, it's sad to see families break up and disintegrate becuase of religious disagreement. At the end off the day it's the kids that suffer most. I know my mother left my father when I was only 5. She raised my two older twin brothers and me on her own. No child support, WIC, or any of that. It was a rough time growing up without a father, but smehow we made it through, Thnaks to our lord. But as I read through all these comments I can't help but to think off the bible scripture founded in matthew 10:34-36. In this scripture Jesus Christ states that he did he did not come to earth to bring peace but a sword, going on he says that a persons enemies would be people of their own household. I don't say this to discourage anyone, but only to bring some light onto this extremely tough and stressful dynamic. report abuse
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 written by gigi , February 02, 2010 Wow, I have just spent about thirty minutes of my day at work reading what all of you have written. I found this article because as you probably already know...I am having trouble in my marriage with my JW marriage mate. Several of your stories relate to mine. I married my husband who was disfellowshipped. Of course, over time, he became reinstated. He gives me the credit for that because I was very troubled about a good friend dying, and when we started talking about death and what happens at death, that got him to thinking about going back. He was reinstated just a few months after we were married. I was going to the meetings with him, and even making my children go. I then studied the book "What does the bible really teach" with one of the witness. The person I was studying with was basically leading a double life...a JW one day, and a totally different person the next. After a few things happened that affected me personally due to this person...I was turned off. I have tried going back to church, I have tried having Birthday parties again...but it seems like I have to give a detailed explanation to my husband each time I mention doing something that he doesn't believe in. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is: it is very sad that our marriage is going down the tubes because he is a very loving, caring man, but the JW's are definately number one in his life, and that is not how it started out. I am so afraid, and so scared. I love him, and he has done so much for me and my two boys. I just don't know how much longer we can live two very separate lives. I would appreciate and do appreciate all comments, or suggestions. report abuse
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 written by Abby , February 07, 2010 I am very concerned with all the comments regarding the marriages, not the fact that the spouses are JW's but how the JW's are treating their spouses. I have been studying to be a JW for quite some time now and have been contemplating divorcing my husband because he refuses to take a headship role in the family by not working, he's also an addict, and has abandoned the marriage in so many words, but it sounds like the JW spouses have become so involved in recruiting for the Kingdom, they have forgotten how to be a Christian husband/wife. It sounds like the JW's need to get their heads out of the WT and back into the Bible. In no way would Jehovah have wanted a husband or wife to treat their spouse in this manner and the behavior contradicts Bible principles about marriage (Eph 5:23-31;I Co 7:10-16; I Co 13:4). Its too bad that so many JW's have become haughty in their faith and no longer respect Jehovah and his instruction. The path of a JW is a personal one and should, in no way, be inflicted upon anyone. To each his own gift and path. I don't know if the elders are encouraging the behavior or if your spouses have even spoken to any of the elders but I can't imagine them endorsing this behavior towards a spouse. If this is the case, I would run for the hills. I have the opposite problem in my situation. I want a divorce but everyone is telling me to give it some time and pray for my husband and our marriage, but I have been contemplating talking to the elders instead. I think some people may be using JW as an excuse for the problems that are in the marriage and are not realizing that the JW spouse is there for personal reasons as it is and not necessarily because they love Jehovah. Your mate, as a JW, should be patient, loving, righteous (not self righteous), and understanding of your path as a christian as each of our paths are different. I keep hearing about how the JW puts Jehovah first in their lives but trample over their spouse-that is not a Godly marriage! report abuse
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 written by teel , February 15, 2010 Abby, you might be right on some cases, that the problem is there without JW faith. But you have to admit that the JW lifestyle is radically different from the average people's lifestyle. Such a radical change always puts a huge strain on the marriage, as you are starting to observe in your own case too. Just the fact that the JW mate will not join the unbeliving mate in most of the things he/she will do (I mean birthday, christmas, a good movie, and so on) is alone enough for love to completely go away. In my case I am what JWs call "appostate", and if you do a bit of search in the magazines you can see that the elders do wholeheartedly endorse bad treatment, at least in my case. An appostate is the most evil person that can walk the Earth, he left Jehovah on purpose to do his own desires. How can you possibly imagine such a marriage can go right? report abuse
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 written by rose , February 18, 2010 I want to thank everyone for sharing their stories, I have my own. Finding this forum is the first time I've realized that I'm not alone! I have a defacto relationship with a non active JW, I got pregnant after merely 2 months of knowing him, and before I found out I was pregnant we had broken up several times! Once I found out I was pregnant I tried to mend our relationship for the child. But during the past four months of my pregnancy his previous problems with alcohol and drugs have increased to scary proportions! He ended up kicking me out of "our home," thankfully so, though I still was putting myself down and blaming myself for the failed relationship. But it wasn't until I came to stay with my mother, that I began to realize that his alcoholism and emotional/physical abuse wasn't my fault, as he had convinced me it was. I have only started to research his religion and the beliefs that must torment him every day. It doesn't seem so hard to see why people of JW beliefs drown themselves in substances, when they are laden with guilt by their beliefs! I am Christian but could never become a JW after seeing how his brother was Dis-fellowshiped and shunned by his family. I hope that anyone who has experienced the hurt and remorse of losing a relationship because of a religion can find consultation, knowing that they are not alone. If anyone wants to talk to me, please don't hesitate to email. report abuse
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 written by MR , February 25, 2010 I am looking for a bit of advice on how to handle an extremely painful situation - and it appears that this situation is all too common among those involved with those of JW faith. Now I am not married to this individual, but it does not make the pain of it any less. Basically what happened is that I got involved in a relationship with a man of JW faith, but this man was also still married to his JW spouse but admitted that the marriage was over that there was no respect and that they both admitted to each other that they only remained in the marriage for their 2 young children. I knew this going into it, now you can go into the moral implications of getting involved with someone who is still legally married, but that aside please. Long story short we fell in love. We he decided to tell his elders about our relationship and his intension to continue his relationship with me - the threatened him with disfellowship if he did not immediatley cease any and all contact with me despite the fact that he told them that he was in love with me and no longer loved his wife a way a husband should. They filled his head with ideas that his children's lives would be destroyed if he left the family unit and therefore he was required by God to go back and resolve his marriage. Well for a week he tried, he ceased all contact and communication with me. Then one day he calls, literally crying saying that he tried to cut me out of his life but couldn't. So our relationship resumed again....resumed again with him knowing what his elders had told him. The first time that we were 'together' again he broke down and started crying saying that he had forsaken his god, that he had spat in his face and that now he would be godless. He told me that he was not in love with his wife that he did in fact love me (and I do believe him on that) but that he loved his god more. He said he can not ask his wife for a divorce because he had no spiritual right, it was her decision since technically he commited adultery. He said that in order to remain loved by his god that he needed to make the attempt that god wants to resolve his marriage and if it does work, then it doesn't, but that despite the fact that he did truly love me and wanted a life with me, he could not forsake his god. Now I feel beyond stupid for getting back involved with him, but I truly do love him and I don't understand this. I am a Christian and I know that God is understanding and is forgiving....so I do not understand this and I don't know how to deal with the pain of losing him over these beliefs. He asked me to gain accurate knowledge of his god and then I would know the choice and pain he was facing and that that knowledge would take the place of the pain. I do not understand because he knew all of this when he chose to get involved with me again. I don't understand if you truly do love someone how you turn your back on them because you believe that you will not have everlasting life? I have done some research on the JW faith and I guess I partially understand what he is being told. I truly do not know how to deal with the pain of this. I feel like I'm whining but it is something that I truly do not understand. report abuse
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 written by latasha , March 09, 2010 I have been married for 10 years. My husband was a non-practicing JW when we met and has not been involved with the organization until recently. We have two young children and he has cheated on twice (that I know of). About 10 months ago, he started studying to become a JW; I believe that he is studying because of his vices and because he is ex-military and needs that 'structure.' I am an Episcopalian and will not become a witness. I am in pain every day because he is becoming someone else. Because of the infidelity, I feel as if I didn't really know him. Now that he is studying, I feel as if I truly don't know him. I have not found the courage to ask him to leave but I feel myself moving in that direction. He has been having 'family worship' with our children and will take them to the hall if I allow it. (I usually do not allow it. If I am out of town I have no choice). I love him but don't like him that much anymore (because of the infidelity and religion). What to do? What to do? report abuse
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